Celebrating Polly & Margo
The journey of Polly and Margo written so beautifully by their mummy, Aimee @aimeejohnsontwinsBack in October 2019 on the 9th, I got two red lines, I literally couldn’t believe my eyes!! I rushed to my friends house and took another 4 tests to make sure... it was a surprise pregnancy (not planned) but I felt every emotion all in one, excited, nervous and everything in between! We sat on her mums bedroom floor in shock giggling about if my baby would be a boy or girl.
On the 22nd October I had a scan! The day before me and my friends joked saying imagine it been twins - it’s something I never really thought about! But as I was laying on the bed so anxious at 6weeks 5days pregnant the lady said ‘do twins run in your family? Because there’s 2 heartbeats’. They looked like two little blueberries side by side ... I loved them two little blueberries so so much!
At my 12 week scan on the 25th November, my twins were looking like mono mono twins which basically means they share a sac & placenta, which comes with lots and lots of risks, so I was so worried. At my 14 week + 5day scan, my girls were confirmed mono di twins (they shared placenta but had separate sacs) I cried with relief when they told me because it took so many risks away! I felt at ease. We were still classed as high risk, ask any identical twin pregnancy is as they share a placenta.
From then on, every 2 weeks I had a scan and a consultation appointment which all went so so smoothly... the girls were always 1% different which is amazing! (They only worry once it’s 25% different. My consultant called me ‘Miss Trouble’ as a joke because she said I was the easiest twin pregnancy she had ever dealt with in her 20 years of working there! I had zero complications.
My 20 week scan I found out I was having girls. The day after I had a little gender reveal to announce it to all my family! This is one of the most treasured memories I have of my girls pregnancy. At my 33weeks + 5 days scan (15th April) my girls were head down and still only 1% different! My consultant was telling me how on my next appointment in 2 weeks we would be looking at booking a planned section. It was crazy to think I only had 3ish weeks left till I met the girls...
On the 17th April I had reduced movements but it didn’t worry me too much the girls movements had been less anyway, they were well & truly squashed by this point! But on the 18th April I was still a bit worried so I went in to get checked...
They put me on the monitors to check their heart beats & they could pick up twin 1 (Polly’s) heart beat but couldn’t find twin 2 (Margo’s) so they took me down for a scan... this is when my picture perfect pregnancy started to not be so perfect & where my world started to change!
At that scan Margo was really struggling. The lady scanning pretty much said these babies need to come out now! There was around 50% difference but even to this day it’s so hard to believe that on Wednesday they were perfect & by Saturday they were struggling, but It turns out I had acute TTTS which is basically where the blood flow stops going to 1 baby which can result in both babies passing away, this is why identical twins have extra scans to keep an eye out on the size difference as usually TTTS happens over a few weeks. Where as my girls had acute TTTS which happens in a matter of minutes and seconds! (This isn’t any reason to why Polly passed )
At 2:45pm, Polly Jayne Johnson was born, her cry was so loud it’s a sound I’ll never forget! And then just 1 minute later at 2:46pm Margo Rose Johnson was born, she wasn’t doing good at all she needed CPR twice & they were both rushed straight to intensive care where they had lots of treatments done to help with the problems TTTS caused! I had to wait 4 hours to see the girls, sat in the room listening to cry’s of other babies been born and gasps of love from other parents ... it was just all too much! Multiple doctors & nurses came in to tell me to prepare for the worst.
At around 7pm the girls became stable so I finally got to see them! I went to Polly’s incubator first but at this point they didn’t have names. I kept getting asked if they had names yet.. I had a huge list of names I liked but the only 2 at that moment I could think of was Polly & Margo so I took it as a sign and then someone asked which is which… I never thought how I’d choose who was who so I asked which is twin 1 and I said I like how Polly & Margo sounds more then the way Margo & Polly sounds. So twin 1 was Polly and twin 2 was Margo.
I’d never seen 2 babies as beautiful & tiny before! Polly was sucking her hands and kicking her legs which was just the cutest!! Margo was quite fragile and didn’t move massive amounts but still the most beautiful baby ever! This is when I got told, that from an hour old Polly had signs of a bleed on the brain but they told me not to worry too much as a lot of babies are born with one so I didn’t worry too much
Polly was left from Saturday-Monday for a scan of her brain, which once they did the scan, she was blue lighted to a brain specialist hospital as the bleed was quite big. They were still telling me not to worry and that once she was better she would go back to our original hospital. After around 24hrs of Polly been in LGI (brain specialist hospital) it was clear Polly was suffering from a lot of seizures but they put her on medication to settle them down- which it did!
On the 21st, the doctors came to me with an awful decision to make, due to covid I had to choose if I wanted to see Polly or Margo as Margo was still in Pinderfields hospital and Polly was in Leeds I wasn’t able to go between hospitals with the new COVID regulations in place! I told them I couldn’t physically choose, they are both my babies... luckily after me putting my guard up with not choosing, they decided to transfer Margo over so they were at least in the same hospital.
Throughout their stay, Polly had so many tests done and on the 22nd she had an MRI scan as her seizures weren’t stopping and for some reason her bleed on the brain wasn’t clotting.
On the 23rd I was told that Polly would have severe cerebral palsy and I’d need to be her full time carer - which was obviously heart breaking but she was still my baby and it didn’t matter to me that she would be disabled. I went home that night with hope that both my girls would be coming home! It was the first time since they were born that I felt like I could breath. It felt amazing...
Little did I know my world was going to be flipped in 12 hours time...
24th April, I got a phone call at 11am to come in this is where my world got crushed. The doctor explained that her seizures weren’t stopping, her bleed had started to clot (with help from a platelet transfusion) but the damage on her brain was too big and this is what was causing the seizures. The doctor said she had made the decision to stop Polly’s care as the doctor thought it was in Polly’s best interest to stop her suffering.
For the next 5 hours, Polly & Margo had their first ever cuddle. Luckily with Margo been transferred over, they got to meet each other outside of my tummy. During this time, the girls got blessed & we had lots of photos and made many memories which I will always treasure!
On the 24th around 9pm, we turn off Polly’s machines & she gave us around 1hr 30 before she grew her wings
It was the most heartbreaking but beautiful night I had with her! My mum, dad & sister were all there with my little girl. I got to see her without any tubes and just at peace, I washed her down & dressed her for the first time too. At around 4pm on the 25th April, I left Polly in the care of the nurses and that was the last time I saw her.
Tests are still on going as they don’t know why the bleed happened & why it wouldn’t clot on its own and they could tell from her autopsy there was no trauma that caused this. So I’m currently undergoing genetic testing to try find an answer, which the doctors have explained they aren’t hopeful for an answer. There’s also lots of other tests on going too.
Polly Jayne is my sunset & Margo Rose is my sunrise .
My little butterfly, I look for you in the night sky. Thank you for choosing me to be your mum